Why My Pajamas Are Making Me Question My Priorities
So I am having the most conflicted relationship…with my pajamas.
About three weeks ago, I was out doing a bunch of errands and in an impromptu moment, I bought myself some new pjs that looked warm, flannelly and PERFECT for the coming winter. Except that, now, every time I put them on, instead of being cozy and relaxed, I feel an internal pressure to get back out of them and be productive.
So then I hang them on the hook in my bedroom, and I look longingly at them, vowing that I will relax more next weekend. Then I will put them on and hope to read a book. But I take them off again because there is a giant list that can’t get done in pajamas. Some people live their days led by their true north star, their intentions, their three clear priorities. I am currently ruled by my feelings toward my pajamas.
Well, before you go JUDGING me for having rather thin-on-the-ground problems, know this: The pajamas, of course, are a symbol of my psyche. I’ve been having similar experiences of ambivalence with other things, like whether to update my computer operating system tonight or next week, or what to put on the grocery list, or whether to clean the kitchen first or finish a client project. I find myself in the grip of analysis paralysis about the stupidest things ever and then, I’m demoralizing myself each time I look back and see a trail of stupidest things ever catching up to me. Do you feel me? Also, do you know any good coaches?
Ambivalence is apparently a problem that is not just mine these days. Stress in America together with the American Psychological Association recently reported the following state of things, insofar as our collective (in)decision-making abilities. It’s a good news/bad news type of thing:
“…day-to-day struggles are overwhelming many. Prolonged effects of stress and unhealthy behavior changes are common. Daily tasks and decision-making have become more difficult during the pandemic, particularly for younger adults and parents. As each day can bring a new set of decisions about safety, security, growth, travel, work, and other life requirements, people in the United States seem to be increasingly wracked with uncertainty.”
It seems that this pajama situation is rampant. Should we make plans with that old friend? Ambivalence. Should we quit our job and do something else? Dither. Finish one project or open another? More dithering. Imagine the toll this constant putting off of decision making is taking on our workplace productivity, personal relationships, and mental health. (Check out this great article on addressing uncertainty and paralysis in the workplace.)
What about you—what are your pajamas? In what area of your life are you experiencing ambivalence, procrastination, or dithering? What (or who) do you need this season to be compassionate towards yourself and get clear about your priorities?
